My name is Katherine White, and I’m so glad you’re here!
You are in the right place if…
-You love Jesus, but doubt He could really love you after all your mistakes.
-You like fashion and food, and you think cheeseburger socks could be a perfect way to share your love of both.
-You are curious about those things, even if you wouldn’t call them your passion just yet.
If I could hand you a Chai Tea Latte through this screen, I totally would.
But since I can’t, I hope you will accept this virtual welcome into my space.
A little background on me.
I’m a single girl, living in the Midwest with my family.
I love daring fashion. When I was younger I would come downstairs in a different outfit every morning, determined to step outside the boring. I got a lot of weird looks from my family, and I will admit, quite a bit of my creations were fails, but now I have a lot of experience with mixing and matching! 😉
I love food: I make Pad Thai for my family; every once in a while I get an irresistible craving for a cheeseburger; and I’m a sucker for those bacon, egg & cheese croissants you can get from Dunkin’.
My absolute favorite thing to do is to go outside, sit under a tree, and converse with God. I sometimes go out in the morning with a journal, markers and sticky notes, and study the Bible. That’s where my relationship with God has flourished, and where He’s walked with me through all my struggles and hardships.
What hardships, you ask?
Let’s just say I was not well-behaved growing up.
I had anger issues, and as much as I would like to not be angry at my family all the time, I couldn’t control it. I would scream and throw fits, and afterwards feel awful about it. But I was often too prideful to admit I was wrong.
Mom had a lot of talks with me, telling me what I was doing was wrong because I was disobeying God. She shared the gospel with me: that I was a sinner, in need of forgiveness, and that Jesus came to die for my sins, so that I could be reconciled to Him.
That struck my heart.
I wanted this love that wouldn’t give up, even when I made mistakes. That kind of love I could fight for. I began to want to please God, and so I hated the fact that I sinned so much.
Later on I had a personal sin addiction that sent me into a shame spiral. Every day was a fight to resist temptation, and almost every day I lost that battle. I felt hopeless and worthless.
I love that verse in Ephesians 2. Paul airs our dirty laundry. He lists who we were: dead in our trespasses; following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air; carrying out the desires of the body and the mind; children of wrath by nature, just like the rest of mankind.
Seems a pretty hopeless status, huh?
Then Paul writes these words:
Those two little words flip the whole feeling of the passage.
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ…” (Ephesians 2:4-5, ESV)
God chose us in Jesus while we were yet sinners. Even when I was stuck in my sin, God still chose me and gave me life in Him. Even when I messed up daily, He still fought for me to come back to Him. And eventually, through obedience to Him, I was able to control my anger and break the addiction. Praise be to God!
That is a miracle in itself. But can I tell you a secret, friend?
I still wrestle with shame.
I am ashamed of things I have done. I am frustrated with myself over people I have hurt, over relationships I crushed.
But here’s the thing.
God still loves me.
He still loves me!
Now that doesn’t make all the bad things I’ve done okay, but because of the sacrifice of His Son, He’s forgiven me. He calls me His beloved, even after all the awful things I’ve done. He’s promised that nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:35-39), even when I mess up in the future. His love truly never ends.
If you are doubting that God could love a sinner like you, trust me, He does love you.
If you are wrestling with forgiving yourself for mistakes you have made, I invite you to come alongside me as I wrestle with that too.
If you have no idea what this God stuff is about, that’s okay too! I still want you here, and I welcome you to read more of my story!
Grab a Chai (or your favorite drink), and maybe a cheeseburger 😉 and keep reading!
My name is Kat. I am Beloved of the Lord, and so are you.